I came across a CEO in a leading financial institution who, in terms of qualifications, checks off all the necessary criteria. But eversince he took office, the organization showed decline in performance and morale with record turnover of its best talents. He was micro-managing the organization, inward looking and highly unsociable. The organization lost major businesses in a span of a few years.

People who tend to be this way tend to be subject matter experts, highly detailed oriented, and granular. At the same time being too tightly structured tends to bring in the negative side. In many instances when we looked at their assessment scores they can also be micro-managing, toxic to be around and uncivil to the team members. They don’t understand that being in a leadership position, they are there to serve their team members, not to show off how clever they are or can be.

A manager who micromanages is, plain and simple, a control freak. The work environment is stifling, because he or she wants control over all decisions. In my case, this CEO distrusts the team, so tasks rarely get delegated to others. Typically, you’ll find there’s hardly room for group discussion or input because the management style is autocratic, which limits creativity and desire to learn new things. Loyal workers trying to find meaning and purpose in their jobs are left with nothing but marching orders. If you work for a boss under such conditions, it may be time to update your resume.

When uncivil bosses treat people like crap, it destroys their focus and motivation; people are three times less likely to contribute at a high level. In fact, working under such bosses could literally be life-threatening. Swedish researchers at the Stress Research Institute at Stockholm University studied more than 3,100 men over a 10-year period and found that workers’ risks for angina, heart attack, and death rose along with having worked for uncivil, toxic bosses. 

Many times when we want to assess them using our tools, they would challenge its validity and think that they are better than everyone else. In truth, we found them to be highly granular, overthinking, lacking empathy and highly exclusive. The challenge was what’s next for them. What would they have to do to not be where they are? This was where I was always stump!

In understanding how to reverse this situation, I was intrigue by Gwendoline Smith’s book “The Book of Overthinking: How to top the cycle of worry”

Her work, she says in an author’s note, is rooted in the theory of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). “The most important emphasis of this approach is to teach people about how they think, and in doing so provide tools and strategies to better manage how they feel,” she writes. 

Finding the book handy in working against my own unhelpful thoughts, I found some of her nuggets of wisdom is reflective of my own observation and experience such as; 

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1. These people are highly insecure and tend to be superstitious.

“Worry is referred to as a ‘superstitious behaviour’ that then becomes a very stubborn habit,” Smith explains to me. “The habit is reinforced by two very distinct mythological belief systems. [Firstly] The preventive power of worry and [secondly] the predictive power of worry. In essence, what this means is that the individual believes that if they worry they can stay on top of their environment and prevent terrible things from happening. 

“Secondly, they believe that this form of vigilant overthinking will also provide them with the ability to predict and therefore be prepared for predicted negative outcomes.

“The word ‘predicted ’outcome is an essential ingredient of the recipe for worrisome overthinking, [which is] defined as ‘the prediction of negative catastrophic outcomes.’”

Given that no one can predict the future, we can see that this is not true. Releasing yourself from the belief that worry can keep you safe, or help you to be prepared for things that go wrong, can be liberating. 

2. Their thoughts or beliefs are not facts, but a measure of what they value

Once your mind has sized on something to overthink, it can assume that this is a reality. But, newsflash: your beliefs are not facts (shout out to when the whole of humanity thought that you could sail off the edge of the earth.)

“It is as a result of these superstitious belief systems that people create a physical and emotional fear (your fight/flight response),” explains Smith. “However, you can believe that you are a fortune teller – but that does not make it a fact. Hence, beliefs are not facts.”

3. And you should challenge them 

“The most effective strategies for worry, in my experience, are the strategies that challenge the meaning of the thinking,” says Smith. “Increasing awareness of the rationality of thinking is very helpful. Ensure that your thinking is grounded in fact/truth/reality and ask yourself if this type of thinking is helping you.”

In the book, Smith provides a series of ‘flashcards,’ which you can use to challenge unhelpful thoughts. These include: “How is this thinking helping me?,” “Where is this thinking taking me?” and “Feelings are not facts – beliefs are not facts.” Confront your worries with these to try and remove some of their power. 

4. Telling yourself ‘I shouldn’t worry’ does not work

“The point that I make with worry and ‘should’ is that if you tell yourself you shouldn’t worry – apart from this being futile – it actually results in worrying more. If you tell the brain it ‘shouldn’t’ worry, it will attend to the thoughts more intensely. 

“Observe what happens when I say “now, just focus on what you are reading and whatever you do, don’t think about camels, red sand and pyramids and camels and so on.’”

See? A better idea is to work at challenging your thoughts, as mentioned above.

5. Some people are more prone to overthinking than others 

It can feel frustrating that some people seem to glide through life barely worrying at all, while others struggle to sleep for thoughts whirring. Sometimes, this creates tension in friendships or romantic relationships – when one person thinks that “it’ll be fine, chill out,” the other feels that the former person doesn’t care enough.

“This understanding comes from the research about the biological contributors to temperament. It is estimated that the biological predisposition for high anxiety is between 25-40 per cent. Hence, people are born with heightened sensitivity [to feelings of anxiety],” explains Smith. 

6. Draw a line between ‘overthinking’ and ‘concern’ 

“Worry is a spiral of thought going around and around taking you nowhere, apart from feeling more anxious,” she says. “Concern, on the other hand, has specific destinations in mind: time frames, solutions action plans. Much more helpful and constructive.”

Work yourself away from the former and into the latter. 

The Book of Overthinking How to Stop the Cycle of Worry by Gwendoline Smith is out now.